Unfiltered Banter And DIY Beginnings

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Sometimes like my girlfriend gets mad at me because uh like I have like no the opposite of a filter, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 0:09

It's just whatever is on my brain just kinda comes out and I hear it when you do.

SPEAKER_02 0:15

Same time, like happening. Like same. There's no checks and balances. Nope.

Home Recording Hacks And Early Experiments

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Nope. It's all withdrawals, baby. You just withdrawing. Do you do any uh recording yours yourself at home? Actually, do you record in studios or do you record everything?

SPEAKER_03 0:44

I prefer to record at home because I feel like you get the best out of an artist when they're comfortable. And I'm the most comfortable at home. I don't know about you, but a studio where somebody else is, you know what I'm saying, isn't always the most comfortable for me. Um and I can always like I can tweak and and experiment with my voice without feeling judged. And I make um the I make I've started making my own music in like my um in my dad's closet, actually. Wow, yeah. Um my dad had an iPad and some some iPhone headphones or whatever, and I literally would start recording um with garage band or whatever, and like just do my layering and vocals and stuff like that. And that's really what started my drive. Like it was any means necessary when it comes to letting out what my expression was, if that makes sense, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_00 1:39

For sure. Love that. All it takes is a closet, right? I think that's the coolest part about making art and music like you the mediums sometimes that you have, you know, you have to make it work. And it's cool to be able to know that you had the persistence to gotta take all the clothes out. Yep, you know, you gotta see the vision.

SPEAKER_02 2:04

Actually, leaving the clothes in actually is good sound protection. Oh, that's what I got. That's a good thought, actually.

SPEAKER_00 2:09

Okay, sound dampener. Listen, music hack uh out there, you can leave all your clothes in the closet before you turn it into your studio so that that way you get real snug with the with the with the um with the um blouses right there next to your face.

SPEAKER_03 2:26

And it's it's like a it's like a mic cover a little bit, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_00 2:29

Okay oh right, just pull it over real quick and get that little dampener on it. Uh that's perfect. That's you know what it's awesome because like you can use you know your setting as um you know uh props, you know, for for your music. I mean, that's such a cool thought.

SPEAKER_03 2:46

Bro, I've I've used so many things in music that you really shouldn't. Like I I literally in um one of my songs, home or whatever. Uh one of the lyrics is this how saying home, it's just four walls, I feel at home when you when you're um wrapped in two arms or whatever. And the song is like all about like how um the materialistic things are not what make home home, right? And I wanted to really just like immerse the the listener or whatever. So I literally walked up to my back porch and just knocked on the door and added that into the song. Nice and and and so perfect. Um I record right now with a uh Scarlet interface or whatever. Um, it's literally the cheapest fucking interface you can buy. Yep. Um easy, literally easy. I can bring it wherever. I've recorded on a trash can. Really?

SPEAKER_00 3:38

As long as I can get you don't have to plug it in as long as I can get to an outlet, I can record anywhere. Yeah. Literally. For sure. Uh and then we have uh you can get those little boxes that that you can actually plug in.

SPEAKER_03 3:50

So if you wanted to record only when I was um first starting my music career or whatever, I drove out to New York or whatever, and I was like uh kind of just kind of exploring myself. I was 19 and I first got my I got my first car or whatever, and I had never did an open mic ever in my life, and I was like, if I'm gonna do it, it's gonna be now and never. And I took all the money that I had and grabbed my sound equipment and brought it with me. And the only thing that I had to record with me because my car was fucked, because it was cheap. Three three hundred three thousand dollars. Beater, baby. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, exactly. Um, and basically, uh I I had fucking stored like um one of those look little energy pack things, whatever. And I would take the fucking energy pack and I could record in Central Park if I wanted to, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, it's nuts because I I was basically I was playing homeless, not playing homeless, but like I got kicked out the well, I got me and my mom weren't at on the best terms at that point, you know. So I left out or whatever and didn't tell her that I was going to New York.

SPEAKER_02 4:56

And uh home alone, it yeah, basically it was it was great though.

Introduction To Beige And Creative Identity

SPEAKER_00 5:01

Um well I'm glad you make made the best of the situation, you know, and were inspired. You know, you inspired yourself to be able to create anywhere you wanted. Definitely. So you know what? Let's uh we're gonna kick it off right now. That was kind of that was kind of the uh the BTS of the scene, you know. All right, all right. Um okay, so respecting perspectives podcast. What is up? I got this gentleman next to me who has been so extremely inspiring and the one of the most creative younger artists that is in the scene in the Baltimore, the DMV scene here. I have Beige, who is a singer, a songwriter, uh I would call him a prophet, uh for sure. Uh I I would put those I think those are the three. Those are the three that I'm gonna go with. And um I uh I I'm so extremely happy to have uh to have you here. Thank you, thank you.

SPEAKER_02 6:08

Um what did I what it what did Kendrick say? I am not your savior. Oh shoot! I had to had to have that in there, I had that in there.

SPEAKER_03 6:16

But um, yeah, I I really appreciate the intro. Um I I I'm I've been making music um for a really long time and really what you what you really stated there really captured a lot of what I do. I am what what did we say in the back room before we were like um art is like the direct involvement of God because we we we create something in that moment, you know what I'm saying? And I like to think of myself as a a creator in that way because like I don't just make music, I I I cut hair. You know what I'm saying? I I I um I film videos, I I've I've been doing YouTube since I was uh in in third grade or whatever. You know, so like the the the thing that I I really appreciate about the introduction that you gave me was that you allowed me to be very well-rounded, and that's that's really what I I love to be, you know. Definitely.

First Festival, Doubts, And Life-Changing Connections

SPEAKER_00 7:12

I'm glad that uh I was able to. It's you have I have so many different people in here, and I want to do them justice by you know properly uh you know setting that that first uh impression, you know, and uh gosh, I mean to speak about first impressions. Uh first met you at uh Wide Awake Festival. Shout out to the homies out there at Wide Awake, it was an amazing event down at the War Memorial in Baltimore.

SPEAKER_03 7:40

That was actually like my first festival that I've ever done, actually. Congrats. The biggest stage that I had ever been up to that point or whatever. And um, it's insane because like the my manager at that point was actually telling me not to do it at that point. He was like, Oh yeah, um, don't go to Wide Awake. It seems like a scam without even looking at the the page or anything. And biggest ah I'm looking into the camera, I you know who you are. Uh but uh basically uh I'm so blessed because um the thing that I got more than um getting paid to come to to do wide awake and and and meeting all the fans and stuff was the connections, you know. Um I we're standing here a year later and I'm sitting on your couch, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_02 8:26

It's a wonderful couch, Bobby. Dude, feel it. Oh Jesus Christ. Velvet or velvet or suede or what? It's amazing. I wish like my life was made out of this.

SPEAKER_00 8:36

It is, it can be. It can be. Those are the dreams. That's the material, right? Like what material do you want your life to be? Yeah, you want it? Do you want it to be something?

SPEAKER_03 8:46

I would think it would be like a silk suede, you know what I'm saying? Like real Cat Williams, uh with the feathers all over the place, you know.

SPEAKER_00 8:52

I see it. I see it right now. I see it right now, pimping, dude. Lots of satin. Oh, sat in, uh-huh. Dude, it's it's so great to have you here. I'm I'm digging the fit too. You you always you should pride yourself in that, in being very unique. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:09

Um, I came up in DC or whatever. And yeah, tell us a little bit about that. I used to, I wasn't always like the most um outstanding kid or whatever. I was I was I was kind of shy or whatever, and I used to get bullied a lot. And a way that like I expressed myself was like just dressing however I wanted to. Um, my parents would pick out outfits or whatever, and they would get so pissed because like I would leave or whatever, and the outfit would just still be just sat there or whatever, right?

SPEAKER_00 9:39

Like I just banished or whatever on the bench, locked on and the clothes disappeared, right?

SPEAKER_03 9:44

Yeah, but um, yeah, I would always just kind of dress myself however I wanted to. Have you ever seen like uh the Adam Sandler movie Big Daddy?

SPEAKER_02 9:52

Yeah, um, you know, as a kid um he he where he's like wearing a fucking um cape and like zippers and shit. Yeah, that I was that was that I was that kid.

SPEAKER_00 10:02

You were like, yeah, I could see it right now. I can see it right now.

Style, Self-Expression, And Building Confidence

SPEAKER_03 10:05

Um and like that kind of just formed into me just expressing myself entirely, you know. Um I I got made fun of and I accepted it. I really didn't care, you know. Um I mean and it hurt it hurt my feelings from time to time, you know. But at the end of the day, I allowed myself to keep being myself, and that allowed me to be where I am today because um there's so many steps along the way where people will tell me, hey, that's not how things are supposed to be done. And I always reminded myself that I'm not trying to be who they are, you know. I'm trying to be a person that changes the mold that that innovates, and I can't stay into anybody's box to be the innovator that I want to be. I can't change anything by by by sitting here reading your cookbook, you know. But um I I love expressing myself through clothing and stuff like that. I'm actually working on my own clothing line right now. Um, it's called Brave Angel. Um and Brave Angel? Yep. Nice. Uh it's it's it's kind of like an emblem for me because um I I've I haven't always been, like I said, I haven't always been the most confident person. And um, like I I read a quote and uh it really touched me. Um and basically it was it was that bravery is when you stand up for something and and and you are fearful, you know, you you do have that fear in you, but you still stand up to it. It's not fake if you still stand up to what you're what you're what you're you're um standing against at the end of the day. And um that really touched me because like I know that there's so many things that like I could I could say about me or that other people have said about me that could discourage me from actually acting on my mission. But at the end of the day, I have to move bravely, and that's what that whole mantra means to me, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_00 12:11

And what is the mantra it's itself, brave angel?

SPEAKER_03 12:13

Is that the mantra itself, or do you have like a particular mantra that's the full the full thing is um brave angel Jesus saved him, which is my name. Um, but like I wanted to kind of make a a bit of a movement where everybody feels like they can be a brave angel, where they whether you're an artist or or a painter or um a doctor, you know what I'm saying? Anybody that steps out here and and acts on the things that they want to do and and acts as a part of the Holy Spirit in in God's kingdom because like at the end of the day, if you go paint on the wall, you know what I'm saying, you are making a change to the environment, the the world that we live in. I was I was walking in Baltimore or whatever, and I just see all this beautiful art on the walls, and I'm like, wow, they are adding to the the paintbrush, they are stepping in and and adding to that creation, and that's such a beautiful thing, you know.

SPEAKER_01 13:11

Um take that? Oh sure. I appreciate you, man.

The Brave Angel Mantra And Movement

SPEAKER_00 13:18

Um let me know if you need some water. I have some over here. I'm okay. Uh let's kind of like let's hop into the music itself. We're with a brave angel, we'll we'll visit that in in a few. But um, you know, yeah, when was the first time that you knew music was the thing for you? When you knew that that was the gift that you had to give to the world?

SPEAKER_03 13:41

Um, I think the first time I thought that I wanted to make music was when my mom gave me my first album that I ever listened to, which was the um Prince Musicology album. And shout out Prince Musicology.

SPEAKER_00 13:58

It put that in your rotation today.

SPEAKER_03 14:00

So amazing. Listen to Marriage Kind. If you haven't listened to Marriage Kind, it'll change your life. It'll change your whole perspective on how rock music is. It is such a great song. So I love it.

SPEAKER_00 14:11

Would you say that Prince is the artist that that um let's see here, is the artist that really helped you as well do this? Is that your main influence?

SPEAKER_03 14:21

I would say it's so many different artists because um I I grew up as a full-blown music head. I was I was listening to Frank Sinatra when I was in in in third grade. I literally have been in choir since from third grade to to um my senior year of high school or whatever. And my senior year of high school, I had six, I had more choirs than I had regular classes, to be honest. Yeah. Okay. I was in chamber choir, all county, uh, all state, uh, boys choir. It was it was a lot. But um at the end of the day, like I I I love Prince. I have to go back down to to how he shaped me as an artist because when I first listened to that album or whatever, I I listened to how he blended um different genres. And I didn't I didn't really actually even understand genre for so long because I had listened to that Prince Musicology album so so many times, I was like, okay, yeah, this is just music. Yeah, you know, and that's just how I didn't even put it in a box. Yeah, I didn't put it in a box. And that's kind of how I I've grown up and and and and to the artist that I am today today. I make neo soul, RB, gospel, rap, and I blend all of these things together because uh it's a part of my paintbrush, you know. Um and I mean I I've been I've been wanting to do music since the day I could think, you know, if I could be so for real. My mom, my mom's my mom said like when I was born or whatever, she was like, Oh my god, you're crying sounded like singing, and I was like, I never heard that.

SPEAKER_02 16:02

I wanted you to shut up, but like at the same time, keep going. Love that, dude.

SPEAKER_00 16:06

Never heard, never heard that before.

SPEAKER_03 16:07

That's a cool thought. My dad was had had my dad loves telling the story. Um, he was actually telling it to me or whatever. He was like, Yeah, man, you came out my balls, man. I was like, wait, hold up, wait, hold up. He was drunk. It was his birthday. He was like, You came out my balls, man. I used to sing to you in the stomach, and the only time you stopped crying after you came out your mother or whatever, was when I spoke in the room, and I was like, Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:35

He probably does love but he loves me, and I love him.

Origins In Music And Genre-Blending Influences

SPEAKER_00 16:38

Love telling that story though, too, I'm sure. It's cool that you could tell it uh this time. Definitely. Let me let me ask you something. Um, as far as music goes as a whole, was there a particular moment when you know you really started to feel that people were were actually um you know uh becoming part of the world that you were creating?

SPEAKER_03 17:01

Um I think the first time I really got to see it, like for real, nearly got to see it, because I I was doing the open mic scene, I was building my fan base, I was building the network that I was building, and I I had a lot of people scattered along or all over the place. Um I my I looked at my Spotify analytics the other day, and I have people in Hong Kong listening, and and there's some of my more active listeners too.

SPEAKER_02 17:27

I was like, you don't even understand what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_03 17:30

But uh basically, uh I went to I got to wide awake or whatever, and not only was my mom, my dad, but like like literally people that I haven't seen in in years pulled up to come see me perform. And and and I I I literally looked out into the crowd and was like almost 600 people there or so. Yeah, right? Yeah, and and it was insane. I was so wrapped up in the moment, like there were people recording, and this is this is this moment um where uh this dude does a backflip at the at the beat drop to over. And I was like, yo, what the fuck? I didn't even see that when I was on stage.

SPEAKER_02 18:11

I was like, yo, I'm I'm so wrapped up. But hype dancers.

SPEAKER_00 18:15

Yeah, yeah, you didn't even know.

SPEAKER_01 18:16

I didn't even know.

SPEAKER_03 18:18

But yeah, that that's that's one of the moments. And I got to perform it, perform with like some of my best friends. Um, one of my earliest collaborators, Naomi, that I made a band with um when I was 14, um, was playing the guitar. And one of my best friends who shares a name with me, Jalen, um, was up on stage and we were doing our handshake from from that we created on stage and people were going crazy. And it felt it felt like people in a little bit. Yeah, it felt like I let people into my my life. Yeah. Because afterwards, people were congratulating my mom and were like, yo, I really enjoyed this performance, and I really, I really appreciate your son, and this at the third. And that really it was it was it was a beyond it was a beyond moment.

SPEAKER_00 19:05

Man, I like that a beyond moment. Jeez, right to be able to share that, and yeah, I think that's that's a great feeling, right? To make your family proud, and even even your friends, too, you know, to make and then plenty of times where they weren't. Yeah, you know what? Great point, great point, and I think it's more importantly, you have to make make yourself proud. Definitely, right? Like at the end of of of all your days, you know, can you be proud?

Seeing The Crowd And Feeling The Impact

SPEAKER_03 19:35

And that was like the most beautiful part about that moment. I was the most proud of myself in that moment because I had been practicing for months on end to even be on that stage. And it was a commodified moment of the 20 years that I've been spending working on my music put on stage. And a culmination. Culmination, yes, that's a great word. And and and even even though it was like what 15 minutes? Yeah, even though it was 15 minutes, it felt like it felt like an hour. It felt like I was up there forever, and I I I I dream about that day. Yeah, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_00 20:13

I think that's awesome, you know, and and you being able to take moments like that, and you're kind of you know setting setting bars for yourself, you know, and and and I think the coolest feeling about being an artist is that we don't actually need that though, right? Like to have those 600 people, I think you know I would have did it if it was two. Exactly. And and let me tell you, I had an experience at um Interfusion Festival where I was with a uh a younger lady who we connected and we just really were able to share um some some deep uh thoughts that we had been going through at the time. And I went through some of my music with her, and we were just kind of like you know, at the table and uh performing for her by herself was terrible. I I I can't even describe like the feeling of being able to connect with someone on a whole nother level and it made me super appreciative of yeah, even the the smallest uh of crowds. But then, you know, yeah, when you have that 600, it's like it it's like wow, right? It really puts it into it in perspective, you know?

SPEAKER_03 21:35

But I I always said like when I first started making music, I I started making music for me to heal myself or whatever of a lot of the pain that I've I've gone through in my life. And um to be able to share that pain and and and and help heal other people in ways that I've never even even thought to even express. You know what I'm saying? Because they have their own stories and they have their own lives and they can be touched in so many different ways. It's it's such a beautiful thing, you know. Isn't it? Yeah, because I used to listen to artists like Eminem or whatever. And yes, and like like I would be going through some d some really crazy stuff with my family, um, really um toxic moments in my life or whatever. Um I I I'm I'm a I'm a victim of abuse, sexual abuse, and all that good stuff, you know what I'm saying? Not good stuff, but you know uh but all of that stuff, and and to be able to have someone to relate to. And and that's the beautiful thing. Like, it's such a one-on-one thing. It's such a one-on-one experience. And that's why you have all these people that go and get obsessed with these artists and stock. I'm gonna shit because it's it's it's Stan. I know this one Stan for sure.

Art As Healing For Self And Others

SPEAKER_00 22:57

Exactly. I mean he made the you know, think about it, right? He made that that song just just because maybe some fans kind of put him on this this pedestal, you know, and and just imagine like being that artist like who doesn't even want to be on the that pedestal, maybe.

SPEAKER_03 23:13

Yeah, and I I've been there in moments, you know. I've gotten um DMs from fans or whatever, and I love my fans. I love talking to my fans, I love talking to people that have listened to my music and hearing how I can possibly how I've affected them. And um, it's one of my favorite parts of making music to this day. But like there's been times where people come to me and they'll be like, Oh yeah, I listened to the first tracks that you've ever made. And I'm like, Whoa, isn't that cool though? Yeah, and like and those gone off of the internet, like and he literally BM'd me and he was like, Hey, I used to listen to this song, and um, we used to play it or whatever during um games or that I used to have with my friend, and um, they used to play Fortnite or whatever together, and they'd be playing the song in the background, and he asked me to send it to him, and I was like, I would love to send it to you. I actually had it in my um voice memos or whatever, and gave it to him, and he was like, Yo, I really appreciate it because my friend passed or whatever. And that song was like almost like a a capsule of a moment, you know, in his life, and I didn't even know about it. I had nothing to do with it, really. And and and it's it's so beautiful to be able to gift these people these moments, and I think that's really what we do as artists. We gift moments because we write life at the end of the day. Say it again. We gift moments because we write life. Um I say profit, poetic.

SPEAKER_00 24:49

That's poetic. That was off the dome. That was off the dome. Yeah, that was that's too much. You know what? Let's let's get into uh your your album and um we can talk about that, right? Definitely we can talk about that, right?

SPEAKER_03 25:02

It's coming out possibly at the I I'm not trying to call yeah or whatever, but I'm I'm I'm trying to shoot for either the beginning of next year or the end of um this year with December or whatever because I want it to be a gift, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 25:18

Okay uh under the under the door real quick. Out of the door real quick. I'll leave.

SPEAKER_03 25:24

Um I'm I don't sneak in people's chimneys because uh I know a lot of my audience got apartments and y'all don't even got chimneys.

SPEAKER_02 25:31

I remember being a kid or whatever and being poor or whatever. I'm like, how did he how does he get in here? He doing B and E's, breaking my window and shit. Like, come on. How'd he get he be getting in there somewhere? You know what I mean? Bro, sneaking in through the uh fire alarm or something, right? Right.

SPEAKER_00 25:47

He's probably just a smooth talker just right in the front door, dude. Come on, man. Come on.

SPEAKER_01 25:51

He is saying it.

SPEAKER_02 25:52

He got he got motion, he got motion.

Album Preview: Themes Of Love And Home

SPEAKER_00 25:54

Yo, yo, always, always. Tell it tell us a little more about Brave Angel and um you know how that process started, and and if you could maybe pinpoint a time when you know you knew that that that that piece of work itself was was special.

Exodus: Confronting Trauma And Forgiveness

SPEAKER_03 26:12

Um, I I didn't okay, so Brave Angel, this album, is a culmination of all of my work, all of my life's work up into my 20s, right? And I have songs on that that I have been working on since for six years, since like the beginning of my career. Of course. Um, that I've been I've been honing in and and making. So it's just like like I was saying, I I write my life, you know what I'm saying? Um one of the most intrical parts of that album um is called uh Exodus or whatever. It's a song about my um my molestation or whatever that is like all about me kind of having the moment of coming back to the place where I was molested, which was um back at at at home or whatever with um in in North Carolina or whatever. And I was coming back for um what was I coming back for? I think it was Thanksgiving or Mother's Day or something, and I was heading back and I I kept getting um I kept praying on the way over because I was just having a lot of anxiety and God kept asking me to open up the Bible and I was having these moments where I was I was fighting with the fact that I I am moving into a different place in my life or whatever where I want to let go of a lot of the trauma that I was dealing with from my molestation because it made me very socially anxious. It it it made it it made me hard to it made it hard for me to even do my job because I'm a barber or whatever, and I have to be around men all day. Right, like it it made me really if it was it was a big struggle for me or whatever, and I was just battling back and forth all the way down the North Carolina that's a six-hour ride, and I was just praying and praying and praying and and going through the book or whatever. I think that's one of the most intrical moments for me in finding um that brave angel emblem for me, you know, because I had to face my my darkest fear, to be honest, which was my predator or whatever, because it was a high likelihood that I possibly would have ran into him while I was heading back down that way. Yeah, um, and um basically God was just leading me down uh a way to not only forgive myself because I had a lot of guilt for um being a man that uh uh as a man, right? Being in the position of being molested and having a part of you that feels like it's been taken away because that that that that sanctity that is your own body has been violated by someone else and it feels like you can't protect yourself and almost having to be um a a guide for my younger self through um healing myself with the song is is was one of the most hardest things I've ever had to do. You know, um battling with having to to forgive myself but also to forgive him because at the end of the day, if I if I want to let myself go, if I want to release myself, I cannot hold the anger because that's the thing. I think like I I I said this to my girlfriend a while ago because we were just talking about um anger management and things of that nature. Um, and uh we were saying like anger is kind of like leaving um your gas kettle on or whatever, and you have the the gas on or whatever, you just leave it there, this and the third, and and having these trigger trigger moments and having these traumas or whatever just sit in the back of your mind um is like leaving that gas kettle on and whatever walks up to it, it doesn't even have to be the problem. It doesn't even have to be the trauma, it doesn't even have to be that that spark can blow up the whole room. Anything can catch on fire. Exactly. Yeah, and um I I had to process my my I had to process that um and it was it was extremely difficult for me and confronting that was truthfully when I knew that I I needed to do this, you know what I'm saying? When I knew that I needed to step outside of what was gonna make me comfortable and and that this was more about the person that would have received this than than me because I didn't want to do it. Yeah there's so many there's so many times in that in the making of that song where I I stopped and I was like crying and bawling in my my my throughout the the process itself and I I had my cousin walk in the in the room at one point and he started whistling or whatever and um I was on the floor in the fetal position just bawling and he was whistling and and it was something that he used to whistle to me when um we were kids or whatever. Gotcha and um it was a it was a really powerful moment because that that whistle kind of called me back, you know, it called me back to the mission or whatever. Um Do you know what the whistle was? Do you can you can you recreate it? So it's kind of like a dove or whatever. It's it's it's it's it's like it's it goes like this. It's like or whatever. And I actually put that in the in the back of the song. Did you good? Yeah, good, good. Um and it was just it was a very it was a very um therapeutic moment. And I think it really drew me back to the reason why I make music in the first place. Because there's so many artists that drug me out of those dark places, and um I know I I know that they had to go through their demons and go through their testimony and go through their problems to to be able to heal these people, to be able to step outside of themselves and be like, yeah, I I I know that this is hard, but I I need to share this.

SPEAKER_00 32:28

Yeah. Let me ask you this if you were to say Brave Angel, um what emotion or feeling would you say that that the album gives? It's a or several if you have a few.

SPEAKER_03 32:45

It's that's that's the thing. You know, it's a very ranged album because um I I have everything from falling in love with the f for the first time with um City of Angels, where I talk about um uh the the woman that that God sent you or whatever um in the City of Angels. You'll the fly is one. Um Thank the Lord that He made you. It's it's it's kind of like a call to the lover that you never knew that you met, and never knew that you needed even. Right. Um and then I kind of drag you through the whole love story and the whole um um process of a relationship. Um is this all in the one song itself or it's all in the entire album. Okay. Like like you're I I kind of trail you through um and and and I I I talk about the processes of of finding yourself in a relationship and like the processes of of understanding, okay, yeah, we might not got the the lights on today, but I still love you. You know what I'm saying? We we might not have have a home to stay in, because the the the the one of my favorite songs on the album is called home, right? And uh I I talked about it earlier in the podcast or whatever, but it's it's all about not having those pro um though even even if you don't have those um material possessions or whatever, you you still have love, and that's what the home, that's where the home really is at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_00 34:20

Yeah, we were talking about that earlier in there, the possessions don't make the home itself, and the love that that is in the home itself, you know, either.

SPEAKER_03 34:30

So talking about integral moments, when I wrote that song, I was actually in the process of getting kicked out. Oh wow, I was I was finishing up the master in the backseat of my car because I was going through it with my mom or whatever. But um I'm so glad, truthfully, that all of these things happened to me because at the end of the day it shaped me into the man that I am today, and I can tell that story and it can mean something completely different for somebody else. Isn't that beautiful?

Faith, Honesty, And Writing For Someone Else

SPEAKER_00 34:58

Yes, isn't it crazy? It really is. You know, maybe some of the the um goals that you maybe have for the album. Um, you know, I'm sure they can be achieved, but then think of all the things that your music can do. Think about all the things that your music can do for people that you didn't even know, that you didn't even fathom they could even do.

SPEAKER_04 35:19

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 35:20

You know, um makes me think about when you're making a track, like just imagine like how much uh that track means to you. What if it could mean even more to a listener? Like, what if a track you make could could mean even more to them than it actually even meant to you? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:40

I've had our I've had I've had songs where and I and I'm gonna get really personal here. Please do. Because I I deal with a lot of um mental health issues. Um I I'm I'm bipolar um and I deal with ADHD as well. Um, and because I deal with these things or whatever, I I struggle with highs and lows and things of that nature. And there's been times where I've been so low that I didn't want to be here anymore, you know. And um one thing that that always called me back was music, you know. Um I I remember listening to um Biggie Small's suicidal thoughts for the first time. Right. I was sitting in my backseat or whatever, just like losing it or whatever. And um I I was literally at the edge of edge edge of a bridge, just looking at the looking down, and I listened to it and I felt heard. I felt like like somebody was was listening to me for the first time and they felt me and and they weren't judging me. And they through that person sharing his expression, sharing his his his moment in life, he made a web, and and and that web spreads and spreads and spreads and spreads, and that's the impact that we want to make as artists at the end of the day. We want to form our web, form our family. And um I'm I'm I I'm having a moment right now. Yeah, like I I'm me too, man. This is this is great, dude.

SPEAKER_00 37:18

This is I'm glad you're able to be vulnerable and so happy to be have you a part of my web.

SPEAKER_03 37:24

Part of my family.

Perfectionism, Process, And SOS

SPEAKER_00 37:24

I appreciate I appreciate. Let me tell you something. You're talking about bipolar. Look at the earth, it's bipolar too, and look how fucking beautiful it turned out. Definitely, you know, you got the poles at the poles, it's really extreme. All right, it's those those lows. And at the equator, super high, even extreme. But when you can weather that, when you can find find that that spot in between, and you know, you're not gonna be able to stay there forever. Okay, you know, and you don't want to, you know, to be able to have those lows really makes you appreciate the highs. The highs. You know, but um let me let me ask you something though. Uh when it comes to um the album itself, uh or not even just like this album, um, would you say that there was any moment or piece of music that um changed the trajectory of of your your life or or artistry itself?

SPEAKER_03 38:30

Um that's the thing. Like I was I would say like so many moments change the way that I make music. Um I'm I'm always changing as an artist, you know. I I'm always picking up small things and and listening in and and finding small pieces of things that I can add to my Crayola box or whatever. And um I think I I would say the most intrical moment would be the the moment that I recognized that it wasn't for me, you know, that I I I I I was writing for someone else, that I was writing for my child self, I was healing that that that person on the inside, but I was also possibly gonna give something to someone that could heal them, and that's really what what was shaped the album because there's times where I went and rewrote stuff because I was like, okay, yeah, that's too too much about me. That's too much, that's too personal. I want it to be more relatable, I want it to be be something that you can you can stop and be like, oh wait, hold up, is he talking to me? Right, you know, right?

SPEAKER_00 39:48

Like, is that me talking to me? Yeah, really.

SPEAKER_03 39:52

Um, but yeah, I I it's it's hard to pinpoint one moment. Yeah. Pinpoint one song. Yeah, for sure. Definitely.

SPEAKER_00 40:00

Let me ask you this. When it comes to when it comes to an album or even a song itself, um, how do you know when a track is is done?

SPEAKER_03 40:10

That's my problem. That's my biggest problem. Um, my my girlfriend says I never know how to put it down. You know what I'm saying? Uh-huh. Um, I've been working on this album, like I said, there's there's songs that are six years old in this album or whatever, that I've been holding on to for a while. Um, and like the thing is you gotta stop me.

SPEAKER_01 40:35

Right, you gotta stop me. You gotta somebody gotta rule me in.

Message To Younger Self And Rapid Fire

SPEAKER_03 40:40

Um but yeah, like I I I love because the thing, the thing about my music is like it's all about me expressing my inner emotions, right? And my feelings may change about something, you know. I might want to change this one chord in the song because it doesn't feel eerie enough for me, because like like I I've changed how I feel about that moment or whatever. Um, and I think that it's a it's a blessing and a curse at the same time because it's it's made the album take a little longer. But there's songs that I would have never put on the album if I decided to release it six months ago. Yeah. Um, there's a song on it like right now, SOS, right? Um, I've I worked on that song for six months, and it was grueling. Um, I first started writing it in a motel or whatever, and I I was down to my last couple bucks or whatever, and um I was trying to write a song to really reflect how I was feeling or whatever, and reflect how I I was calling out to God in that moment because I I didn't have anything, and whenever I don't have anything, I always call back to source at the end of the day, and that song is is called SOS because SOS stands for Save Our Souls, right? And um in in all in all of my lowest moments I always call to him, you know, and all of my highest moments I call I call to him too, of course. For sure. Like for sure at the end of the day, I I I want the main thing that the listener walks away with with my album or whatever is that they can talk to him. Um and that's why I am so honest throughout the entire album because I I have sex, I'm a person, I I I I do sin. I I I've had things done to me. I've I've I've stepped out and and done bad things. I have a song on the album called Backhanded where I talk about me cheating, right? And that's not the most Christian thing at all. Right. But like at the end of the day, I call to God asking him to forgive me. Right. I I I talk to I talk to these, I talk through my entire life about what I I've I've experienced in these these works of art, and I'm just really glad that I can share that.

SPEAKER_00 43:08

I love that, dude. That's it's it's amazing. I have uh a little something that I want to um little little uh activity I want to do with you real quick. Um So I have I'm getting a uh we're getting a call here. Oh we're getting a call here. Um yeah, who is this? Okay, this is the younger beige. Oh beige maybe like 10, 15 years ago. Oh, well guess what? Guess who I'm here with right now? Yes, your older self. Listen, listen, your older self, and they have something they they have something that they uh they have a few things that they want to tell you. This is your younger self on the phone. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 43:57

Um

SPEAKER_03 44:02

Keep doing what you're doing. Because at the end of the day, what you're doing is going to lead you to where you're supposed to go. And every step in your journey, remember to be you. Because at the end of the day, no one else can be that. You are the missile missing puzzle piece to the art that is this world. Do not forget that the world is not better off without you. Because you are a piece of it. And no matter how small or more significant you are to this world, you belong here. So don't forget that. Cause like I don't want kids now. You know what I'm saying? And like if you fuck up now while I'm talking to you, you know, and then I'm gonna have kids. And we're we're we're already doing pretty good with that. 21, pretty good. Keep them scores up. But um body count, uh, uh uh stay a ferocious warrior out there. Um, keep your head down, but always remember to look up to the most high. Amen. Tell them you love them. Love you, little guy. Peace.

SPEAKER_00 45:23

I love I love that little. You know what I mean? It gives you time to think about, you know, think about what you would say to your uh younger self. And there's so many things that we I I think we can and would uh say to them, right? Absolutely. Uh let's see here, and then I have one more thing uh that we're going to uh that we're gonna do here, okay? Um I have a few questions I'm gonna ask you, and then we're gonna do rapid fire. You have to answer them quick. I'm ready. Okay, off the dome. You're you you're good with this, okay? All right, are you ready? Planes, trains, or automobiles?

SPEAKER_03 45:57

Um trains, because you you get there faster.

SPEAKER_00 46:02

Okay. If you had to listen to one song for the rest of your life, what would it be? Marriage Kind by Prince. I you know there you go.

SPEAKER_03 46:13

The most unique instrument. Um, I've used the wall as an instrument, and I think that the wall is one of the most versatile instruments. You know what I'm saying? You could literally slap the shit out of a wall and it could sound different in every room.

SPEAKER_00 46:27

Just don't slap the shit out of a wall, okay? All right, daytime or nighttime?

SPEAKER_03 46:33

Um, I'm a I'm a night owl, you know what I'm saying? Okay. I like cheesecake related night, you know what I'm saying?

Closing Reflections And How To Find Beige

SPEAKER_00 46:39

Alright, what super haps, what superpower would it be?

SPEAKER_03 46:44

Um damn, that's hard. Teleportation, because I'm tired of waiting through traffic. I'm tired of waiting. I'm very impatient. I like to just be wherever I want to be. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And if I could I if I could teleport, I could be anywhere.

SPEAKER_00 46:59

I love it. Yeah, yeah, that is that's it's always a good one. Uh let's see here. One thing you can't live without. My girlfriend. Oh, shouts out. What's her name?

SPEAKER_01 47:08

Corey Darkhart.

SPEAKER_00 47:10

Corey Darkhart. Uh she's an artist as well. And you know what? She might be in that seat in uh a little bit, so stay tuned for that. Uh let's see here. Favorite color. Uh favorite color? Uh purple. Purple. Nice. What what's my spirit animal? Your spirit animal? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:30

I feel like you're like you're you're like something cool, like a big ass bullfrog. That's like, like, like, like ribbit.

SPEAKER_01 47:39

Yeah, like ribbit.

SPEAKER_02 47:41

You know, like like the like the frogs from Naruto, like the big ass ones that you ride. Yeah. Yeah, like you're like one of those sage toads.

SPEAKER_00 47:49

Yes, dude. I will take that all day. Fuck yeah. Best duo.

SPEAKER_03 47:53

Best duo. Um uh I my favorite duo is uh New Outcast. Uh uh, not New Outcast, Outcast. Um uh Andre3000 and Bibboy. That's my shit.

SPEAKER_00 48:09

Yeah, for sure. Uh let's see here, and one last one pineapple or coconut.

SPEAKER_03 48:16

That's such a strange question.

SPEAKER_01 48:19

Isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 48:20

I uh I like them for different reasons. That's such a horror one, isn't it?

SPEAKER_03 48:26

I had some coconut ice cream the other day. It's so delicious, but I don't think I could live without pineapple in my life. Yeah, I don't think I could live without it. I love mart I love martinis. Okay. All right, all right. Nice little pineapple.

SPEAKER_00 48:38

Right with a nice glass and all. Yeah. Nice. Well, gosh, beige, I'm so uh honored to uh have been able to sit down with you and dig into the album that's coming out, Brave Angel. Hopefully, by the time um this comes out, the album will be out so people can go rate, you know, and stream it. Um how can people find you online?

SPEAKER_03 49:01

Um, you can find me on Instagram at B-A-J-S-H dot world. Um, if you don't got Instagram on YouTube, just type in B-A-J-S-H or I'm on just I'm on Google. You can Google me. Google me. Google B-A-J-S-H everywhere. There you go. Um, and it's wonderful being here with you. What's that?

SPEAKER_00 49:21

Thank you so much. And uh let's see here. One last thing. If you were to have any uh inspiration, leave any inspiration with with the world, um, you know what what do you want to leave them with? I was gonna say something really corny.

SPEAKER_02 49:36

Be yourself and be yours, you know, that's not it's really not it's it's it's it's cliche, but it's real.

SPEAKER_03 49:43

It is, you know. I think that you you you deserve to be here, you know what I'm saying? I'm gonna look directly into the camera when I say this. You deserve to be here, and you're a part of this world for a reason, and your existence is proof enough that you are amazing. Just keep being you. Boom.

SPEAKER_00 50:05

Yeah, beige, thank you so much for joining me today. And uh, I really look forward to your success as an artist, and just just for you hitting all of your goals and reaching heights that you ever never even knew. I can tell you with music, stick with it. There's gonna be times, there's gonna be a roller coaster, but put your hands up on the free fall, okay? And you you are hit him with hit him with the high five, dog. All right, listen, thank you so much for being here.

SPEAKER_03 50:35

Please do. Um, your podcast is amazing, and we got to replace Adam 21 because he's a creep.

SPEAKER_00 50:42

Oh, creeper Adam 22 in the house. All right, all right, listen, thank you for that. That means a lot. It really does. Awesome. Thank you, respecting perspectives uh world out there, and uh until we see y'all for the next one.

SPEAKER_04 50:58

Peace.