Speaker 1: 0:00

let me just tell you I am feeling myself. You look pretty good in the mirror. I had to take a video. I did. It was like I'm so glad you like it this is. This is my. I might just wear this every day yes, I think you should I might just wear this every day.

Speaker 2: 0:29

I think between our two, like eccentric outfits and then all your decor, like having clothing just like around would have been too much.

Speaker 1: 0:36

I you know it does kind of overcrowd the idea to like promote, but yeah this is loud enough. Yeah, this is, you're right. You're right, we're shouting here, man, okay. Well, we're here at the watermelon room with the respecting perspectives podcast and I have a young lady who has been very inspiring as of recently and just flourishing with ideas and concepts, and her backing with spirituality, which we'll get into, has been guiding. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:17

Yeah, it really has. It really has. So I'm super grateful to have you here. Thank you for having me. Why don't you tell the people who you are a little bit, give them a little bit of history and kind of the brand itself? We can build this however we want.

Speaker 2: 1:35

Okay, well, most people around Baltimore know me as Pinky. My birth name is Catherine Linnea. I grew up as Katie Never loved the name, though, because I was one of like six Katie's in the neighborhood. Oh really, and I wanted to be special. I wanted to be, you know, unique and different. For sure. My best friend, she was a Katie.

Speaker 1: 1:55

Okay.

Speaker 2: 1:56

And because my middle name was Linnea, I got Katie Lynn. Oh, that was so country. It does have a country ringtone to it, and my wonderful parents who allowed me and my brother to express ourselves in a multitude of ways. 12 years old, cut off my hair about your length and dyed it pink Really, yeah. And when I moved to Frederick, adopted the name Pinky there you go, so all the pink hair.

Speaker 1: 2:22

Oh my gosh, let me tell you something. Name Pinky, there you go. So all the pink hair, oh my gosh. Let me tell you something. You can rock anything, but I think that is perfect for your kind of the vibe that you give off.

Speaker 2: 2:32

That's where Pinky came from. But in terms of lighter fluid designs, which is my brand, that I'm building clothing and lifestyle brand lighter fluid designs lighter fluid designs lighter fluid the reason I chose that name is because I want to light people's fire. I want to create, I want to design products that inspire people to express some part of themselves that they may not otherwise. There's nothing I love more than playing dress up, so I totally envision having a store that has all this eclectic wild stuff jewelry, clothing and people coming in and just being like amazed if it's not immediately their thing where they're like yes, this is my store right they're just like what is this place?

Speaker 2: 3:15

and I just get them to put stuff on there you go and just like try it and like look at themselves in the mirror and just like beautiful, help them see a whole other side of themselves yeah, oh, that's, that's lovely.

Speaker 1: 3:25

It's so cool to see that I have a little story. Um, when I was younger and probably like a few years ago I'd be ashamed to say this, but now I'm an open book and, uh, when I was maybe like four years old to like seven, I had a lot of girl cousins and there's VHS tapes of this somewhere, okay, uh, on my on my uncle blazes wall somewhere, uh, of them dressing me up, Yep, and I mean I'm not even ashamed to say it now, that was, that was good times, you know what I mean. Like that was just like who cared? You didn't care what you looked like, you didn't care. You know the energy that you were given off, you were just unapologetically you, you know.

Speaker 2: 4:14

You were just trying new stuff.

Speaker 1: 4:16

Yeah, and gosh, it was so funny because I didn't really I haven't thought about that in a while, you know. So it's funny to think about that in a while, you know. So it's funny to to think about that and shout out the cousins we got colleen, eileen and chrissy and man, they just uh, yeah, we're just, you know, having fun. The last podcast with wyatt we were talking about, you know, just things as a kid that we kind of missed and uh, we, we talked about like summer camps and things like that. You know, is there anything from your childhood that you know like either you like really miss or like times in your head that you like to really revisit?

Speaker 2: 4:57

I love designing my Halloween costume with my mom every year. That's one thing that comes off to the top of my head. Yeah, um, what was?

Speaker 1: 5:07

your favorite uh of all the costumes.

Speaker 2: 5:09

That's a tough one. My favorite of all the costumes I don't know about my favorite. One of the coolest ones is I wanted to be a bat okay so my mom made me like these legit wings. Like the whole thing was from scratch. Every costume was always from scratch. Like November 1st, the day after Halloween, I am planning 365 days in advance for my costume the next year.

Speaker 2: 5:35

So she made me these wings out of like coat hangers, which surprisingly are not easy to unbend at all, and she unbent them and hooked them all together and this miraculous thing happened because we weren't expecting this. So she made these like what would have been life-size proportional wings if I was actually a bat, and she put these loops at the corners of the wings so that I could hold them and actually like flap them. Oh, wow.

Speaker 2: 6:03

But when I took my hands out and just like let the wings go, they folded behind me perfectly, and when I would walk they would bounce as if they were flapping. It was just. It was really cool. Oh, my goodness so that's just like the one that comes to my mind right now, but I was so many things and she, whatever we wanted to be, she was like all right, we'll figure it out, we'll make it work.

Speaker 1: 6:23

What's one quality that you really appreciate and love in your mom?

Speaker 2: 6:30

Definitely her ingenuity, her ability to, like, solve problems. You know, in the context of costume making, right it's like, okay, here's this ridiculous idea Life giant-sized bat wings you know, and she just has a mind 's like a macgyver, you know she can just like yeah, she could like totally just figure something out.

Speaker 2: 6:50

She can see the mechanics of things or like what would be a great material to like make this thing happen. She's really good at helping people with like practical problems. Like she really wanted to work with kids with disabilities, okay, who like maybe buttons were too hard for them you know and just like find ways to like make their lives easier.

Speaker 2: 7:10

So but yeah, she's just super and I get that from her and I really appreciate that. She always encouraged me to like be expressive and be weird and like and make stuff. You know she taught me how to sew, and that's certainly you know and make stuff. You know. She taught me how to sew, and that's certainly you know, the the the heart of you know where this all comes from.

Speaker 1: 7:29

So yeah, gosh, let me tell you I, I, I'm, I'm feeling myself today. I really am, I'm feeling you, you look good.

Speaker 2: 7:36

I'm feeling you too, gosh.

Speaker 1: 7:37

And these are some pieces that uh Pinky has uh for sale and um, she got. She's been out here vending at festivals and all these different things. How long has lighter fluid been a thing?

Speaker 2: 7:56

So I would say I probably decided to get serious about it at the end of 22. So I guess that really kind of only means like two years. It was just as I was graduating college which went too late. So I was like end of 22 I was 32, um, and I decided that this is really what makes me happy and what I want to do so. I've only been doing it for two years okay, the the thought behind it, though.

Speaker 1: 8:21

Um, so lighter fluid you did. You dug a little bit into it, but um, yeah, what if you could kind of you know where does the name itself come from? And um, yeah, what does it mean to you?

Speaker 2: 8:36

lighter fluid. So, definitely, I want to provide, like the fuel, the fuel to like, encourage people to express themselves, to connect with their authentic selves. Um, my logo, um, which is on the back of your shirt, is uh, it's showing up here too. Um, it's a triangle, which is the elemental symbol for fire. Um, there's a flame on the inside, and that to me.

Speaker 2: 9:00

I actually love talking to people about my logo because I love asking other people what they see in it, and I've heard so many beautiful things and my own meaning has, like, evolved over time. But so there's this flame in the middle that could symbolize like everybody's individuality and their flame or their own soul, you know, their uniqueness, their specialness, um, and then around the logo is a series of graduated dots. There's like three large ones and the other ones are kind of smaller, and for me that almost symbolizes like the different versions of ourselves that we are throughout our lives. So you could say, for most people maybe there's three different versions of themselves. Okay, that can vary.

Speaker 2: 9:41

And then there's these other kind of transitional selves between those pivotal, you know people that we are, you know, and there can be things that happen in our life that make that change, you know, that cause us to become different people, for better or for worse. You know, right, my life is an evolution and I want it to be an evolution. I want to be growing, you know, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, especially. That's something that's always motivated me and been so fascinating to me.

Speaker 2: 10:14

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 10:14

I can tell.

Speaker 2: 10:15

Yeah, so that's kind of the namesake, I feel like, of lighter fluid.

Speaker 1: 10:20

If you could tell me. So. You taught me a few things in that. First off was that the elemental symbol for fire is a triangle.

Speaker 2: 10:29

Yeah, the upward facing triangle.

Speaker 1: 10:30

Upward facing triangle, and then you said that most people have three. Three, you know parts of themselves. What would you say? The three pillars in your life are?

Speaker 2: 10:44

I think I meant like more versions of themselves but yeah, you could totally see it that way like pillars of who you are right, so those dots could resemble like pillars, just foundational, like character traits or anything or aspects, right, so maybe you could say your emotional self, your physical self, your spiritual self, your physical self, your spiritual self. You could say like for me, maybe some of the foundational things for me, um, honesty and authenticity, like that it goes hand in hand to me, like how somebody said to me recently I wish I could remember where the quote came from, okay, but it was like said the hardest thing we will do in our lives is become ourselves.

Speaker 2: 11:28

And how much of a battle and journey it can be to just be who you really are right with so many influences, oh my gosh, yes, around the world trying to put us in a box all the time, put us in in in conflicting boxes, right, like be this but be that, and those things aren't the same, and somehow you're supposed to try to be both and you're supposed to be all these things. But who are you? What do you want out of life? What makes you joyful? You know, where do you source your strength? Um, so yeah, I would say of those pillars, right, I would definitely say honesty and authenticity is something that's really important to me. I might have to think harder about the other ones.

Speaker 1: 12:10

Yeah, I know it's a good thought, right? I think everybody else at home should be thinking about yeah, right, and you're, you're going to take influences in and you're going to, you know, be seeing all these different worlds that are around you, but, like, how can you create the strength to you know, be yourself, you know and it's wild and you know, be yourself.

Speaker 1: 12:44

Yeah, you know it's wild and you know. I think one of the pillars that you originally mentioned was spirituality. For sure, yeah, tell the people out in the world here, kind of, what spirituality means to you. Oh, boy when it's come from.

Speaker 2: 12:59

Yeah, so I actually grew up in a spiritual community.

Speaker 2: 13:03

For sure, it was called Unity, which is considered a church, oddly enough at the time I went. So I went from the time I was probably like I don't know seven until I graduated high school, for whatever reason. At my church in my chapter they're all over the country, maybe even over the world, I don't know. For whatever reason at my chapter in Gaithersburg at that time they never really talked about Jesus, didn't really talk about scripture, so I didn't learn much about Jesus the way my mom phrases. She said she felt our church was more concerned about the teachings of Jesus, like what he wanted us to know, how he wanted us to be. They were more concerned about that than they were about teaching about Jesus, like who Jesus was. So I didn't really get that foundational understanding. But I loved my church. I didn't want to miss any Sunday.

Speaker 2: 13:57

High school was like going to group therapy. You know we would go. It would be a room full of teenagers, like I don't know. It could be anywhere from like five of us to like 15 or 20 of us any main sunday and we had some adults in the room that were called our sponsors and like they might have some theme or topic for us to discuss. But we wouldn't even always get to that we would always start the the hour by, like everybody, sharing their highs and lows for the week, so it was an opportunity to talk about, like to celebrate with each other yeah people that you had this like spiritual connection with an opportunity to celebrate and an opportunity to like share your suffering and sometimes get like help and support through that.

Speaker 2: 14:38

So I feel like I grew up through this really difficult middle school high school years with this spiritual community always loving me and always supporting me, no matter what I was going through, no matter what boy problem. You know I had to share that week.

Speaker 1: 14:54

To think about. That is interesting, right, like the challenges that you had when you were a kid and I think you had mentioned something about being young, though, and like realizing, kind of like, what meditation was right yeah, dig a little bit into that and what meditation has meant to you and your ability to have been blessed with learning it at such a young age.

Speaker 2: 15:26

For sure. You know, something we talked about a few weeks ago on that phone call was about how psychedelics can really like open people's mind to this idea of God. Right, what is God and how does that show up in your life, and how psychedelics can be such a a transformational moment for people spiritually and for me. I just got that from when I was young, from that church, because we were taught that God is all good and ever-present everywhere, that God is in everything and God is in everyone, and so I kind of grew up with this true belief that life is beautiful, high five.

Speaker 2: 16:11

Right Now I also had. I can recognize that I had a privileged upbringing in many respects. I didn't have an abusive home, so there are things about my life that made it easy to believe that. But yeah, so we. Some of the things that we learned early on like middle school, maybe even earlier was like how to meditate. You know how to sit and how to try to converse with God and how to quiet, try to quiet your mind and listen for God's voice or guided meditations for some objective. Yeah, actually, when I was in elementary school they had people from other faiths. I remember a Buddhist monk coming to our church to teach us about their faith.

Speaker 2: 16:56

They were super into tolerance, inclusivity and just like it's all God man. Let's just get along and through that teaching, through that education, I learned also a lot about the power of positive thinking and prayer, and we had these retreats in middle school and in high school and we would sing all our little kumbaya songs and there was this one song that the lyrics are our thoughts are prayers and we are always praying.

Speaker 2: 17:28

Say it again, say that Our thoughts are prayers and we are always praying. Our thoughts are prayers. Listen to what they're saying, seek a higher consciousness, a state of peacefulness, and know that God is always there and every thought becomes a prayer. So I grew up like you can drop the mic right now, because that is beautiful.

Speaker 1: 17:49

Thanks to unity.

Speaker 2: 17:49

Thanks to God, yeah, no, it's like so. When you absorb those things as a kid and you like believe them and you just take them in, you're like my words have power, my thoughts have power, right? So if I'm speaking negatively about myself, if I'm speaking negatively about my teacher or my friends or my circumstances, like it's just going to exacerbate that you know it could just create more of that.

Speaker 2: 18:17

So I think from a young age I was kind of trained to have positive outlook, positive thoughts, and I'm so grateful for that. I really really am. But I do feel like in some ways I was limited Later in life as I started encountering some really difficult things. I was self-aware enough at my early 20s to know that I had a privileged upbringing and there was some part of my heart that was like God, I want to know what the meaning of hard work is. Not that.

Speaker 2: 18:57

I hadn't worked hard not that we didn't have struggles in my family, but I knew that I was blessed and, you know, because I believe that our thoughts are prayers, it's like one of those things, it's like careful what you wish for, you're like I don't want to pray for this, but the thought's there and I can't undo it and it's always there. And so I started encountering some challenges in my 20s and my last relationship, and then in this relationship and I'm happily married now. But this marriage has been I mean, the relationship has not been without its challenges.

Speaker 1: 19:28

Of course, every relationship is.

Speaker 2: 19:29

Yeah, and yeah, some of the challenges that I dealt with were so, so difficult that my religious found my spiritual foundation, gave me a sense of responsibility and control that I didn't necessarily have Right. So when your life is going good and you're like manifesting all these great things into your life, like you feel amazing, but when difficult things come up that you don't have control over, got really depressed and I was like why?

Speaker 2: 19:59

is this happening? Why can't I positive think my way out of this, you know, why can't I just change this? Why can't I just think differently and not be so upset about this? So, in some way, at least the way I interpreted the spiritual messages at the time that I was there, that's kind of I I think a little bit limited and stunted with the spiritual foundation that I had.

Speaker 1: 20:22

So you know what Something that I want you to touch on more is. You said like the meaning of hard work. Do you what do you feel like that consists of? Like where does that like does it mean? Like physically, like working hard, picking things up and moving them? Or like you know what is hard work to you? Like what is that?

Speaker 2: 20:49

I love the question and I think it meant a lot of different things to me, but I'm laughing because the first thing that happened to me once that request to God started coming up was I moved on to an unfinished in process of renovation 33-foot sailboat. Oh wow, with a man I was not meant to be with and lived on this boat, moved on to this boat, left Baltimore two days before Christmas, when most people leave in October.

Speaker 1: 21:20

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 21:21

We left December, we barely missed a snowstorm and it was. That was a very challenging. Can you imagine? Can?

Speaker 1: 21:31

you imagine?

Speaker 2: 21:31

Let me just try, it's so hard to like fully explain what it's like to live on a sailboat, and I had no problems doing it. I was like, yeah, this is great. When I was a little kid, my mom's parents lived on a sailboat. Oh cool. And so when everyone went to visit grandma and grandpa, we went to visit them on their boat, wherever that was.

Speaker 1: 21:46

Oh, that's fun.

Speaker 2: 21:46

Florida, maine, whatever. So I was not foreign to this idea at all what I can do. But we are on this unfinished boat. Any holes in it? Okay, no holes. But let me tell you because my ex at that time he was so stubborn, so hardheaded, everything had to be his way. And so we left, december 22nd I think, baltimore, anyways, we made it partway down the Chesapeake, docked at a closed restaurant, closed for the season, and then we were checking the weather before we leave the next day and it's like, hey, might be like a little choppy. Didn't sound like anything crazy to us.

Speaker 2: 22:26

He did not have as much experience as I thought he had. I trusted him fully. You have what's called foul weather gear, which is right, like your, your yellow suit right, your yellow, your little hat, your little, keep you dry, right if? It's raining or something and we untie our bow. We're like all right, we're gonna go further down the chesapeake. We it was so choppy the the waves didn't sound like they were going to be tall, but what's happening is it's kind of shallow so they're hitting off the bottom floor more quickly okay, and so we're out there.

Speaker 2: 22:59

Water is coming over the bow oh and it's pouring right. I have never been so cold in my life and probably scared I was. I wasn't too scared, but I was scared there was another time where it's more scared. We had to call the coast guard.

Speaker 2: 23:13

Oh or coast guard actually called us I know that's a whole other story, but like we, so we're like. All right, we have to turn around like we can't make any headway. We are soaking wet. We're miserable. We didn't have a shower. Our toilet hardly worked. He had to boil water on the stove top, go outside the boat, pour it in through like the little hole in the ceiling. I don't remember why that was there into like what the shower stall was to like try to warm up.

Speaker 1: 23:37

Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 2: 23:38

Okay. So when we're talking about the meaning of hard work, like just that relationship was hard work and it prepared me for the one that I'm in now. But I think hard work was like there was definitely a physical aspect. There was like I want to know what it means to like make a house work Right, and we were like I want to know what it means to like make a housework Right, and we were like literally had to restore this boat to have a home that floats on water, yeah, and to be able to travel on it and so and yeah, so, like building things, that was something tied into hard work.

Speaker 2: 24:10

I'd always worked hard in relationships, okay, but I knew, I think, there was a new level of work I wanted to do in relationships. My very first relationship taught me how important honesty is how important is to be yourself like, authentic, even if, um, even if it means risking the relationship, like you have to be you if, because if the relationship for me, I was like, if the relationship's working, I want to know that it's honestly working.

Speaker 2: 24:38

Yeah, that I didn't hide any part of myself you know that this person really loves me for me and accepts me for me and if it's not working, then I know it's honestly not working and I don't have to have any regrets that I didn't share, that it wasn't myself, you know, maybe it could have worked if I you know so honesty I learned in my first relationship. So into that relationship, sailboat guy was able to practice that. That's how I came to Baltimore. Thank you, sailboat guy Brought me to all my Baltimore friends.

Speaker 1: 25:08

Thank you, sailboat guy.

Speaker 2: 25:09

So yeah, and then the things that I learned in that relationship and getting to practice honesty, but you know, him and I were just so not compatible set me up for the next relationship, which is now my marriage, and you know I believe him and I are soulmates, there's no question. Oh, that's beautiful. But there was stuff that I knew I needed to learn.

Speaker 2: 25:35

Even though I didn't know what it was, there was something in my heart that said God, I just want to know what it means to have to work hard for certain things when, as a kid, most things that I needed were provided to me.

Speaker 1: 25:48

You know there's a term, gosh I don't know the exact name of the term, but I will do some research after this to figure this out 100% but basically what it means is, at the end of the day, when you rest your head on the pillow, know that that day was spent regular, rigorously doing what you know you're supposed to be doing, and and hard work itself, so that when you do hit the pillow like you feel tired because you put in a full day. You know and like, just think there's some people who kind of lackadaisically go through their lives in the day and you know, once they they put their head on the pillow, you know that's kind of when their mind starts racing. You know, but like, if you know that you put in that that work during the day, you can then get a good, good rest, you know, and be able to know that for the next day you're going to, you know, give it a thousand percent. You know, and, gosh, I think that's really important, an important message for everybody. And you know you're talking about your relationships and things like that.

Speaker 1: 27:12

And, gosh, isn't it crazy how, like we're always like trying to balance, like ourself, with everything else that's around us. You know balance. How do you feel like balance is an important part in your life?

Speaker 1: 27:30

That's a good one, and that's definitely how long has it taken you to figure out?

Speaker 2: 27:34

oh, I'm still figuring it out like that was a test did I pass by the get past um, and I might still be for the rest of my life, but I feel like I'm definitely in a better place with it. Um, again on that, like wanting to know the hard work, like what does it take? You know, these some of the things I've had to learn over the years and more recent years probably definitely, definitely in in this relationship understanding, balance things things that I know help me stay balanced. I need time to myself. I love people and I love spending time with people and I need time with people but, I, also need time with myself.

Speaker 2: 28:11

I need quality time with my friends. I need quality time with my friends, I need laughter, I need quality time with my husband and I need to nourish myself physically and spiritually and emotionally.

Speaker 1: 28:26

What is that nourishment?

Speaker 2: 28:29

Yeah, a little side route Nourishment, so physical nourishment. I have a fast metabolism and I feel like I have to eat all the freaking time, so that's like one and that can be hard, like my body is happiest when I have like five real meals a day, really.

Speaker 1: 28:44

Yes, five meals yes.

Speaker 2: 28:45

That's a lot of work You're just out here eating I should be. And so physical nourishment, emotional nourishment, that definitely comes through friendships and connections and conversations like these. For sure Got a great therapist Shout out, amy Shout out Amy.

Speaker 2: 29:03

And spiritual nourishment would definitely be. You know, finding spiritual community, which I've only recently found, but finding spiritual community that you really connect with and resonate with so that you can grow spiritually and you can deepen. And if you don't find a community and you don't need a community that's totally cool, but like committing at least to a practice and time to deepen your relationship with God in whatever way that makes sense to you.

Speaker 1: 29:29

Committing man, that's such a wild word, you know just like. What does commitment mean to you?

Speaker 2: 29:36

oh gosh what is commitment?

Speaker 1: 29:39

I'm hitting you with that. I know that big talk I love it.

Speaker 2: 29:44

Um, what does commitment mean? To me, commitment means the constant choice. Right, it's usually never just a one-time choice, you know, but it's a constant, maybe even daily, maybe even hourly. Um, commitment or choice, it's a conscious choice to do something. You know, um or be something oh or be something yeah right man commitment. Let's see here what does that mean to you?

Speaker 1: 30:17

Gosh. Commitment, I think, means being present with yourself to the fullest of your ability. You know, and in order to think about like a tree, you know, like the thing, like that tree has a commitment, in that one spot it's rooted, it's well rooted. You know, and I think, before you can even commit to anything else around you, you have to commit to yourself. You know, and think about I love talking about this because think about a tree, okay, and you have, you know, the stalk or the trunk itself, and then you have, you know, the offshoots, the very top of the tree that's, you know, that waves the most. You know that's the flimsiest A new growth.

Speaker 1: 31:32

Right, that's where all the new growth occurs. And then you have your little you, you have your little tributaries there, and the leaves themselves, the color of the leaves and the shape of the leaves, all create that character. That character, you know, and uh gosh, think about how, like every year, every once a year, a tree dies, you know, and it has to think of all the things that it has to shed, you know, and think of the fact that the things that shed then, like, become the earth too, you know, but think about like trees are naked in the most frigid weather too, like that's the time.

Speaker 1: 32:31

Yeah, totally exposed, Totally exposed yeah totally exposed, totally exposed, and think of the wind, think of wind, how detrimental wind can be to a tree, especially a new tree, or the new growth on the tree. Right, yeah, it makes you really think about all these outside forces that are swaying you, you know, but think, I think the most important part of this this, uh, teaching here is the hardest working part of the tree the roots you can't even see them you can't even see them?

Speaker 2: 33:15

You can't even see them. That is a really good analogy. I like that.

Speaker 1: 33:20

You know, like the hardest hard back to hard work, the hardest working part of the tree, dude the ego gone, you know, and and think about all the the ways that that those roots have to. You know, one's got to go over here so that that way this corner doesn't go too far, you know. And then the ones you know, you got these ones building off of this one and, yeah, you know the fact that, like parting the hardest working part of the tree is not even seen, you know.

Speaker 1: 34:01

So I think that can be an analogy to our lives yeah you know, all those, those things that we build inside in those, sometimes those trials and tribulations that we carry and trauma, sure that we carry in our body, not just like mentally but like physically too, that are absolutely kind of connected to you in places. You know, I'm sure you maybe talk about that with your therapist, possibly about trauma and how it actually is, is stored stored in the body or can totally cause physical illness, absolutely and and think of this too.

Speaker 1: 34:42

Like, along with the roots, our roots are like, like our heart. I think your heart is with you your whole life, but you can't even say it. Nope, all these trust that it.

Speaker 2: 34:56

You just trust that it's there. You trust that it's there.

Speaker 1: 34:58

You know the anatomy, yeah Right, but you never really get to see it, you know. And then, like all of the things that are inside your body, you know you really have to be in touch with and in tune with, you know, and there's going to be those gusts of wind that are going to push you in certain directions and maybe they're even going to help you, you know, get to that place faster or stronger in a way you know, yeah.

Speaker 2: 35:34

And I think that is such a perfect example of like why that balance is important and how to obtain the balance. I think, when I first started really looking into what does it mean for me to have balance in my life, it starts with listening to your body. Listening to your body, which is not something we're taught how to do in school. That's a great point, you know. Like just to-.

Speaker 1: 35:57

That should be a class.

Speaker 2: 35:58

It should be how do our bodies work and how can we use them in an efficient and healthy manner, but also how to listen to them. You know, I find that so an example. I told you I have to eat a lot. I didn't discover that until I started listening to my body and Right and recognizing like I'm struggling with symptoms of low blood sugar. A lot Right Like feeling shaky feeling, which can show low blood sugar, can show up as anxiety. Right Like why do I feel anxious all the time?

Speaker 1: 36:28

Oh, because you need to eat.

Speaker 2: 36:30

You know, but if nobody's taught you to listen to your body and you don't even know what that sensation means, you just know that it's here.

Speaker 2: 36:36

You don't know how to read it. You go to your doctor. They're like oh, you have anxiety, here's a pill, when really you just need to eat more. Yeah, I mean, that's saying that's everybody's situation by any means, but, like for me personally, listening to your body, you know and and understanding and appreciating the connection between your mind, your, your heart, your spirit and your body, and how your body is often the first thing to tell you something's out of balance, emotionally or spiritually or just physically.

Speaker 1: 37:05

Right, and you went back to like the trifecta there you know and gosh it. Yeah right, like listening to what is your body telling you right now.

Speaker 2: 37:18

My body's telling me I'm excited. Ah. I love that I have like a little bit of a flutter, but it's an excitement.

Speaker 1: 37:24

Man gosh, I want to just talk about there was a point I wanted to make with, like the fragility of life itself and wind. We were talking about that. Think about a butterfly.

Speaker 1: 37:38

You were just talking about kind of like butterflies in your stomach, you know, think about like a butterfly like one strong gust of wind could kill a butterfly, you know and think about, yeah, how fragile that idea is and that thought, you know, and then comparing it to the tree the day.

Speaker 1: 38:01

So I'm dealing with heaters and air conditioners, I'm dealing with machines, and one thing that has really helped me keep track of my body itself is understanding these machines that are around me and like, how do these machines work and how do they work most efficiently? And that's something that we focus on in the trade is, you know, there's two things you really want to focus on first, safety, obviously, and then the second thing is efficiency, and it has everything to do with what's coming in, what's going into that machine in order to make it as productive as possible, and with combustion, the most important things having to to do with, like, lighter fluid. All ties in. Yeah, uh, two, two, most actually three things, do you know? I'm gonna put you on the spot, okay that's my age back knowledge with the, with the trifecta here.

Speaker 1: 39:26

Do you know what the three things that it takes to create combustion?

Speaker 2: 39:31

no, no yes you need it. Do you need a spark? A spark A. You need pressure.

Speaker 1: 39:40

Close Pressure's created by what's going into it. What's the things? What are the things? Air, air, okay.

Speaker 2: 39:48

Number two Okay, Air, a spark and a fuel.

Speaker 5: 39:51

Bang Look at you Look at me.

Speaker 1: 39:54

Look at you Right off the bat, see it's, it's. It's actually a lot more simple too than like we. We kind of overthink things sometimes, you know. And the fuel itself, I think to kind of touch on, you know, a lighter fluid. You know the fuel itself is so important to what is created on the back end. I love that, you know, and gosh.

Speaker 2: 40:23

What's your input that's going to affect the output?

Speaker 1: 40:25

Exactly.

Speaker 2: 40:26

What's the substance of the input? Man, it's beautiful right, Because there's so many different fuels out here, oh my gosh, you know, and the world's telling us what fuels we need to be using.

Speaker 1: 40:38

Right, and maybe sometimes they're telling us fuels that we should be using that maybe actually aren't Actually healthy for us. Healthy for us? Maybe they're healthy for one person.

Speaker 2: 40:50

Sure sure, sure, Not a one-size-fits-all situation.

Speaker 1: 40:52

Exactly, you know.

Speaker 1: 40:58

So it's really important to think about the things that you're that are feeding your soul, you know, and your, your body itself, and and back to to listening to your body. You know, gosh, it's, it's. It's going to be a light, actually disclaimer. It's going to be a lifelong process to figure that out. Yeah, it's going to be a lifelong process to figure that out. Yeah, like listening is going to be a lifelong process of you know what's good for me, what's right for me. You know, what's bad for me. You know there's those experiences that you realize and, like you know, you stumble.

Speaker 1: 41:36

I think it's really important that you take a step back and think, take a mental note and be like, okay, you know what, that wasn't the best thing for me, you know. I think maybe a lot of people don't reflect enough on those, the things that that make you fall. You know, you kind of just get up in in, like the world today. You know, with such a fast-paced lifestyle, you know we're told to, you know, brush your knees off and keep going, but and there's nothing wrong with that, do that. But then make sure you, you make a point to kind of reflect on what it was that kind of tripped you up in the first place, because we're going to, you know, we're like talking about the tree and like every year that it dies. Right, let's go back to that, because I think that's a really important point. You know, think about the ways that we have to shed are the flowers or the leaves, you know and also like knowing that it's okay to let go of those things.

Speaker 2: 42:54

I don't think the tree dies, but parts of the tree die.

Speaker 1: 42:57

Definitely.

Speaker 2: 42:58

Right, so the tree itself is still alive.

Speaker 1: 43:00

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 43:00

But it goes dormant or is hibernating, and it does let parts of itself die.

Speaker 1: 43:05

Right, lets those leaves die and I think too, with with that like there, there's that time where it like it needs hibernation. There's that time where, like it know it needs in order to then be able to. So I think it's important that we all take some time to yourself and think about the year. And what are the good things for you? What are the bad things for you? What are the things that made you happy? What are the things that made you happy? What are the things that made you grow? What are the things that pushed you forward? What are the things that pulled you back? You know it's really important.

Speaker 2: 43:53

Here's another great way to have balance. So what you're kind of speaking about, what it's making me think about, is seasonally living here in Baltimore. We get all the seasons, which is awesome. Sometimes some of those seasons last a little longer than some of us want to, but we get all those seasons which is a blessing.

Speaker 2: 44:12

And so when you're talking about thinking about a year and what went well, what didn't go well, like that just made me think of New Year's right, which is winter, which is the middle of winter, people are assessing their year and assessing the year behind and the one ahead, and not everybody even does that. But it's like people take that once a year opportunity to like have that reflection right. That can help you create more balance in your life. But something that has helped me have more balance is that kind of seasonal living like winter, thinking about the seasons as opportunities to live optimally. Right in winter, the most efficient or optimal way you can be living is in a state of hibernation. In whatever way you can afford to do that good, but be intentional and try to make time to reflect. The winter is the time for hibernation. It's a time for reflecting. It's the time for planting seeds inside. It's the time for getting in touch with your intuition.

Speaker 2: 45:12

And then spring is where we start planning and we start like clearing out right Spring cleaning People are clearing stuff out you know, and then summer is the hype. Summer is the time for energy lots of energy. You know that's when we're at our music festivals, that's when we're the days are longer and we're staying up all night, and then fall is when you start taking things down a notch. You know you start, you know that it's going to be a slower season coming up, and so you prepare for that.

Speaker 1: 45:44

Yeah, for sure, and let's see here, you know, I want to pivot a little bit to a memory that we spoke about on the phone, about Leroy's concerts, because this was the you really, it really stuck out to me. Tell me a little bit about Leroy's concerts and what they meant to you and like, okay, where that, you know where that uh, energy took you, you know, in the future.

Speaker 2: 46:09

Yeah, so that definitely ties in music and spirituality for sure so, um, those were the youth retreats that I had in high school. They were like. These particular ones were twice a year at this ymca camp out on the eastern shore one in the spring, one the fall and there was a guy who come in, who we would always have a musician, and almost always we had Leroy come. We were always like pretty disappointed when Leroy couldn't come, but we love Leroy.

Speaker 2: 46:32

Shout to Leroy yes he was this Ross Safarian dude and his music was, like often pretty like experimental.

Speaker 1: 46:39

Okay.

Speaker 2: 46:40

But he would get all the kids up and dancing and singing and screaming, like he would. He wanted us to have like a moment of catharsis, you know, and and celebration. So we would like he would get us up and he would tell us to scream as loud as we could. So we had like a hundred teenagers just screaming. I mean, how cathartic is that? How often do we scream?

Speaker 2: 47:02

oh, intentionally right that we're like take a moment, I just need to let out this energy. So you had a hundred teenagers just screaming oh my god. And then? And he walks us through. It's always. He always take us on this journey. And then the music and his lyrics were always like some spiritual journey. And um some of his my favorite songs, um, there's one called sweet divine groove and it's about god and it's like I'm lost in your love. Um, I'm lost in the flow, but, baby, that's how I grow um it, yeah, just about god's sweet, divine groove that is life.

Speaker 2: 47:41

And he's got another beautiful song about what it's like to be held by God and tells a story of a little girl being held by her dad and taking her through her life, of her being a mother and then being an old lady and being held by God. That song that makes me cry, yeah. It was just so amazing. Crazy enough my brother who lives in Texas. I don't know if I told you this part of the story.

Speaker 5: 48:07

It's kind of like actually not even important.

Speaker 2: 48:09

But my brother lives in Leroy's house. Leroy passed away from cancer and this was a few years ago. My brother lives in Texas and he lives in his house and he didn't even know it when he went to go look at the house, Dude Leroy's he's. Oh my gosh, no question. My brother was greeted by three albino peacocks when he first went to the house to see it.

Speaker 1: 48:30

That's that I would.

Speaker 2: 48:32

That would be like a sign for me oh yeah somebody's talking I am telling my brother like chris, you gotta get back into your spirituality. Like you, don't take this moment for granted. Don't take his home for granted. Like it's. It's a can be an amazing space for you if you seize that opportunity.

Speaker 1: 48:47

Right Well shout out to Leroy Gosh, you know thank you for for for people like that who are able to share their energy with the world. You know and and kind of you know, speaking about musicians, musicians there, there was a musician that you mentioned uh to me, uh, that, uh, I think there's a few points we want to tie in with this yeah, you know um what's the name of that musician and what's the name of the song?

Speaker 2: 49:13

okay, um gosh, there's so many things we need to talk about. Um, one of the things that was important and we wanted to discuss was like so part of the inspiration to start Lighter Fluid Designs was this culmination of two projects that happened right when I was graduating. One was my wedding dress that I made and it turned out amazing. And then the other was this jacket that I made for my favorite musical artist named Jessie Reyes, and her music has been so transformational for me and cathartic for me, especially her earlier stuff earlier stuff and I designed this jacket for her.

Speaker 2: 49:47

I got to give it to her at a sold-out concert oh, you did I was so high after that, like I was like this is the best night of my life, yes, and um she. So I got to give her that jacket. So those are two projects that made me like I was graduating with a psychology degree, thought I was going to go to medical school, like this is what makes me happy is making stuff, making beautiful things. And so Jessie Reyez another thing we wanted to talk about was so a lot of her earlier music is. It's very emotional. It definitely gives voice to the harder, darker, sometimes toxic side of relationships, yeah, um, or relationships that can be toxic. Not that all relationships have toxicity in them, but, um, she gives voice to that. So, and she really, even though I was already in this wonderful relationship with the man I'm now married to, I got to walk back through some pain that I never acknowledged, um, and of some of those toxic relationships that I even experienced.

Speaker 2: 50:54

And so that song I was telling you about before, she has this really challenging song called gatekeeper and it walks back through an experience she had as a young musician who got invited to go to a party where there was a producer, um, and she wanted to kind of like let him know that. You know she makes music without trying to. You know, push it, yeah, yeah, and you know the. The moral of the story was that he was like if this is what you want, if this is the dream you want to have, like you, there are expectations of you sexually unhealthy, and she, that her, and the song is her story about dealing with that um and how that has been that's becoming so much more coming to light right of the abuses of power, um, especially in the music industry, movie industry and just probably most industries, but that one's been highlighted so much. Um, yeah, and so that was. She really helped me release a lot of emotion that I needed to release so that I could move through trauma. I didn't even realize I had um and again.

Speaker 2: 52:09

That also goes back to like that hard work, like what is the hard work that I need to put in to to become who you made me to be? You know the best version of myself, the authentic version of myself, that isn't being filtered through all of this junk. You know what boys and more men told me, who I needed to be. You know like who am I outside of the pressures of the world?

Speaker 1: 52:34

Oh, I like that. That's a that's a great thought, right? Who are we outside of all those pressures?

Speaker 2: 52:41

Yeah, she has another song it's beautiful, called no One in the Room. I think it's called, and the song is who Am I when no One's in the Room? Oh, wow, I love that concept you will love her.

Speaker 1: 52:51

You got to listen to her, I promise you later tonight I am going to be doing a deep dive into that 100%. Let's do a little segment here. I have somebody on the phone here. Is that your phone? Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. Yeah, so who is this calling me at this hour? Oh, this is the OG Pinky. Okay, this is Young Pinky. Oh.

Speaker 1: 53:24

Yeah, yeah. So you know what, ironically, I'm here with someone who actually, I think might want to either give you some advice, some inspiration, kind of tell you maybe some things to do, not to do. You know what? I'm not going to build this, I'm going to let her yeah, here, she is here, she is here she is.

Speaker 2: 53:44

This is young pinky, little pinky. What up, girl? Little pink, little pinkster. Oh, what's up girl? Um, dang, what would I love for you to know and understand? Well, you have a lot of gifts and talents, um, that you can do a lot of good in the world with, and um.

Speaker 2: 54:07

But follow your heart, follow your dreams and um, you'll be so stoked to know that you're going to be starting a clothing and lifestyle brand someday believe it or not, I know crazy and you're also going to find the most incredible man.

Speaker 2: 54:23

He's going to be the man of your dreams. He's not going to be what you were expecting, but he's going to be absolutely perfect for you, and so just hold on and try not to do too many things that you're going to regret. I know you don't have many of those, but, yeah, you're awesome, you are special, and what I definitely want you to know is that I know you feel excluded sometimes because you crave depth in your relationships and you don't feel like you always get that from all of your friends, but that's not because something's wrong with you that they don't want to go deep with you. Not everybody's capable of going deep and not everybody wants to go deep, but it's something that's beautiful about you, and so don't, don't dim your light and head for the deep end, and whoever's meant to be in that deep end with you will be in that deep end with you. You can leave all little kids in the shallow kiddie pool. Love you, girl love you pink.

Speaker 1: 55:27

You end up being sweet af. Okay, you know what? And speaking of the, you mentioned that you were going to meet uh, the man of your dreams. Yeah, um, I have a little uh message from from someone here. So, uh, what? Yeah, I'm gonna let you uh, I'm gonna let you hear it on the highlight on the highlight. Yeah, yeah, here we go. This is your man. Okay, let's turn this bad boy up. Let's turn this bad boy up. Okay, okay, you ready. I'm ready. It's here. It's here, okay.

Speaker 5: 56:10

Hi, sweetheart, it's Bobby. I just want to tell you how proud of you I am. I'm so excited for you to be able to share your talent and unique creations with the world. It's been an amazing journey watching you grow and develop your business and to see the authentic spiritual connection you make with your customers. Through your brand and your unique designs, you inspire me every day to be the best version of myself and a husband worthy of your love. I'm your biggest fan and beyond blessed to walk with you and stand by your side through this journey of life. I love you, catherine, with all my heart. You always have and always will light my fire.

Speaker 2: 56:54

Oh thank you for that. I love him so much. I love you.

Speaker 1: 56:59

Love you too, man dude. That just, I don't know if you saw this, but tear just fell from my freaking eye, dude.

Speaker 2: 57:08

You're going to have that too someday. Oh, you're right, You're going to have that too.

Speaker 1: 57:11

You're right, it's here. She's out there somewhere. She's out there, oh man. Okay, all right, we're coming to an end here, but let's uh, let's switch emotions a little bit. Okay, all right, let's switch it up a little bit.

Speaker 2: 57:28

Okay.

Speaker 1: 57:29

I'm going to have some rapid fire questions here. All right, all right. Okay and uh, these are trying to answer these as as quick as possible. Okay, off the dome, all right Off the dome, all right as possible. Okay, off the dome, all right off the dome. All right, 30 seconds on the clock. Okay, describe what you think your life will look like when you're 85 um laughing with my girlfriends by the pool.

Speaker 2: 57:54

Oh, there you go, girl, golden girl style there you go.

Speaker 1: 57:58

If you had the power to make someone not famous anymore, who would?

Speaker 2: 58:03

it be Shoot, not famous anymore. I don't even know.

Speaker 1: 58:08

Oh, and you got somebody that's out there, that you're like, somebody that I don't really like. Maybe not the best influence, or I don't know. Sorry, pass Okay pass If you could have any superpower, oh gosh, oh man.

Speaker 2: 58:24

now, no, okay, pass, if you could have any superpower. Oh gosh, oh man uh be unaffected by the opinions of others.

Speaker 1: 58:33

There you go, guess what that's. It's possible. It is possible. I'm on my way. Do aliens exist? Quite probably, and what do they look like?

Speaker 2: 58:39

oh, I bet they don't all look the same.

Speaker 1: 58:41

Okay, love that answer. Would you rather burp glitter or fart fireworks?

Speaker 2: 58:48

Burp glitter.

Speaker 1: 58:48

Yeah, that's pinky, straight, pinky style. All right, what's the first thing you notice when you meet a new person?

Speaker 2: 58:56

The first thing I know probably what they're wearing.

Speaker 1: 59:00

Yeah, of course. That's just the design in. Do you like judgment? Not at all, not at all. Do you like the music your parents listened to?

Speaker 2: 59:10

uh, yeah, yeah, well, I didn't love all of it growing up, but what would be a either like a song or a band that uh. This is so obscure. My dad loved a musician called Jerry Jeff Walker. It's like country and I didn't like it when.

Speaker 1: 59:28

I was a kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: 59:31

But now it just makes me think of my dad.

Speaker 1: 59:33

Oh, nice, love it what other language. Do you wish you could speak fluently?

Speaker 2: 59:43

Maybe Spanish. I feel like that would really help you in a lot of places okay, name a book you've read more than once. Oh, I'm not a big reader. I like to listen to books, but something more than once pass probably pass.

Speaker 1: 59:59

All right, what oh?

Speaker 2: 1:00:00

actually the the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz Ruiz.

Speaker 1: 1:00:03

definitely read that more than once Such a good one, all right. What qualities do you admire most in your friends?

Speaker 2: 1:00:13

Their honesty.

Speaker 1: 1:00:15

Best policy? Yeah, what's the best gift you've ever received? Best gift you've ever received my husband. Oh, shout to bobby, all right, what would you happen? What would happen to the world if the internet went away?

Speaker 2: 1:00:29

oh I think we'd spend a lot more time outside yeah, love that so important.

Speaker 1: 1:00:38

Has a movie ever made you cry? Oh my gosh, yeah. Which one have you cried the most?

Speaker 2: 1:00:43

I cry at a lot of movies, maybe most movies.

Speaker 1: 1:00:46

Jurassic Park.

Speaker 2: 1:00:49

I don't know, Maybe not that one. Pixar movies always cry. The first movie my mom ever took me to in a movie theater was Black Beauty about a horse. She had to take me out of the movie theater because I was just hysterical I think they were like abusing the horse or something. I mean, what kid wouldn't cry about?

Speaker 1: 1:01:06

that right right, all right. What's the best thing about being your age?

Speaker 2: 1:01:11

about being 34. Who's the best thing about being 34? Um, hanging out at a podcast on a sunday afternoon, yeah right wearing your own brand yeah, wearing my own brand, dude. I did the tattoo convention last weekend and I just finished setting up my booth and the music. The song that came on was my favorite band in seventh grade. Good charlotte turned me into a little punk rocker.

Speaker 2: 1:01:40

Yeah, and it came on the loudspeaker and I was like 13 year old me, 12 year old me would be so freaking proud of me, right oh, my gosh dude like here I am selling all the stuff that I've made at a tattoo convention like that is the pinnacle of coolness for 12 year old oh, I'm sure you killed the event itself.

Speaker 1: 1:02:01

Let let's wrap up a little bit here. What are some of the things that people can look forward to in the future of Lighter Fluid, and for you as an individual, what do you see in the near future with the brand and yourself?

Speaker 2: 1:02:18

Yeah, well, for lighter fluid. I am really building my whole brand around these limited edition track suits. Yeah, so this is edition number one, and edition number two is in the works. So, that'll be coming out in a month or two, and yeah, can you find that on your website?

Speaker 1: 1:02:34

Yes, Lighterfluiddesignscom. Okay, and lighter fluid L I G H T E R F O U I D Fluid L-I-G-H-T-E-R-F-O-U-I-D Yep, Okay.

Speaker 2: 1:02:40

That's me and so, yeah, it's a kind of spiritually based streetwear brand. So you can expect a lot of unique things, a lot of eclectic things. You can expect influences from all over the world. Something I've always been passionate about is other cultures, and I've always wanted to travel the world. I considered anthropology as a career or as a degree and because I love learning about other cultures, so I love to incorporate textiles and elements in my jewelry from all over the world and I love educating my customers on like where they come from, who made made them, how they were made, what's the story, the history and all that kind of stuff. So eclectic stuff, worldly stuff, spiritual stuff that's what you can expect out of lighter fluid.

Speaker 1: 1:03:30

Nice, nice. Well, this was an amazing experience. I want to thank you for being here with us today. Thanks for having me. Is there any last-minute inspiration that you want to give the world? Hmm.

Speaker 2: 1:03:53

I just want to encourage people to get to know themselves from a non-judgmental place, a non-critical place. Just try to get to know themselves from a nonjudgmental place, a noncritical place. Just try to get to know yourself and try to become a version of yourself that you're proud of, that you like, and it's okay to get help to do that. It's okay to get help from friends, from therapy, from professionals, from God, you know, and I definitely encourage people to contemplate God in whatever way that makes sense for you.

Speaker 2: 1:04:28

You know you don't have to do what other people do. You don't have to do what your parents do. You can do it on your own. You don't even have to tell anybody about it. But, like, that's just such a foundational part of life for me and it's brought so much value into my life because for me it's an undeniable truth. And, yeah, I just want I want everybody to be happy, I want everybody to be the best versions of themselves. You know, to try to make this world a better place. It all starts at home, you know, it all starts inside. So I don't know, I guess that's what I got.

Speaker 1: 1:04:58

Love that. That was perfect. Well, that concludes our episode of Respecting Perspectives Pinky Edition, and I want to thank everybody for tuning in and until we see you guys next time, peace out, Peace out you.